Friday, October 28, 2011

cleanse me from within...

So I made a kind of strange, but interesting analogy and comparison the other day when I looked at my cell phone and my tennis shoes . I know, random right? Okay so I've had my phone for about a year now and what I noticed now is that it has several small little scratches and nicks (knicks?) on it. I remember that when I got my new phone I was so careful with it. I didn't want to drop it or get it wet, etc. And now obviously, things have changed a little bit. Then, looking at my tennis shoes...I see that they have some dirt and mud spots on them and the white parts are well...less white. I got them brand new this summer and even though they are tennis shoes I still didn't want to get them dirty, since they were nice and shiny and new. I hardly wanted to wear them outside especially if I knew it was rainy or muddy. Once again, things have obviously changed over a few months to where I'm not as concerned with this anymore. This isn't to point out that I should probably take better care of some of my things, but instead it is a unique spiritual connection I made...

It may not be true for others, but it is certainly true for me...

I know there have been times in my spiritual journey where I have felt "new", "clean", "reborn", etc. This could have been after receiving Reconciliation, or after a retreat, or even just after a simple, but profound spiritual experience. Many of times, I treat this new feeling with delicacy. I want to keep my soul feeling rejuvenated and refreshed, pure and clean. However, I think that I sometimes tend to treat it just like my cell phone or tennis shoes. I begin by being very careful, so not to harm my spirituality or my relationship with God. Then slowly, I might find myself realizing that a few "scratches" or a little "dirt" is okay. Truthfully, it is, because we are not perfect human beings. However, we should not accept it so easily as to turn from our spiritual high, because this develops habits. For me, it is sometimes a bad habit of spiritual laziness. I become less and less careful and get into a routine of a spirtual lifestyle that is not wholly fixed on my soul remaining clean. So I pray to search and find this deeper meaning of cleanliness. And then I ask for the strength to keep it within me, even through the times which I know I have failed.

"Purify my heart
Cleanse me from within
And make me holy.
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from my sin,
Deep within."

Friday, October 14, 2011

a beautiful mystery...

Wow. So it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted and well uh, a lot has happened. Let’s see…since then, I have—changed schools, ‘moved’ to the north, made new friends, been a Teletubbie, watched my first rugby game, been to 4 new states, worn ridiculously awesome tie-die tights, experienced fall weather, been to Pittsburgh, and seen leaves change colors. Okay so some of those aren’t all that important ;)…but the reason they are somewhat worth mentioning is that they have all had an impact, big or small, on how my life is now and where I am at this moment in the wonderful, ever-changing, journey of life! :) However, the point of this post is not to give a detailed explanation or story for those events; instead, it is to reflect on a familiar topic of mine—God’s plan for life


It is so beautiful to me, to be able to experience the mystery of life. It seems like a simple concept that every human being would be able to understand, but there’s so much more behind it than we think. As I look at all those little things I experienced over the past few weeks, I think about what made them possible, and then what else, in turn, made those other such things possible, and so it continues all the way back to the beginning of life. The beauty behind it all is this idea of a mystery.  When we are experiencing certain things in our lives, neither I, nor anyone else can explain their meaning. This is because God’s mystery is not like the general concept of mystery. Typically, a mystery is ‘solved’ once something is revealed to us. When we become knowledgeable of the specific information, it is no longer a mystery. However, in the divine mystery of God’s plan for life, the mystery has only just begun at its revelation. As God unveils the things He has called us to in this life, it is only to embrace the mystery of what is to come in the next. Oftentimes we can see this in times when ‘things don’t go as planned.’ They irony of it is, that it was never ours to plan in the first place. Whether it amounts to suffering of some sort, or just a simple change in direction, God is behind it every step of the way. We could question why God would allow this; however, once again, it only reveals a greater mystery in the bigger picture of life. We must trust and realize that the experiences God places in our lives are designed for a purpose. It might be days, weeks, years, or a lifetime down the road that we see these purposes, but God does not exist in time. So it is only a matter of giving our will entirely to Him, for Him to decide. In the light of God calling us to receive His will in our lives, we must also understand that He continues to carry us every step of the way. As Mother Teresa put it best, “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle; I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.” God has already equipped us with everything we need before He calls us to Himself and His plans. He holds us in the palm of His hand and brings us to and through everything, the good and bad.

So as for me, things are starting to make sense. Today, as I am in love with every minute of my life, I see how things are playing out in God’s plan. I realize that as I live each day, God has something new in store. I am beginning to see the small part of a bigger picture. As I recognize God’s presence in every one of these experiences, I embrace the fact that there is still more to come! Oh, what a beautiful mystery it is!

If God brings you to it,

He will bring you through it.

~In~

Happy moments, praise God.

Difficult moments, seek God.

Quiet moments, worship God.

Painful moments, trust God.

Every moment, thank God.